The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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