I love black thongs
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
