he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
