i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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