Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize