No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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