he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
