when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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