So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
