My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
