i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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