Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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