last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
