Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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