If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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