omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
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Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
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It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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