Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
