So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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