after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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