I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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