and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
