Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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