Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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