WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
