This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
