I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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