Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper

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(780): i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper http://tfl.nu/tn8n

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...

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(724): i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it... http://tfl.nu/6i0l

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.

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(304): Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling. http://tfl.nu/ly52

Replies (26) Good night (5443) Bad night (469)
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(904): View more from Florida

I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

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(904): I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck. http://tfl.nu/gj91

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(416): View more from Toronto

Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.

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(416): Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend. http://tfl.nu/lag5

Replies (9) Good night (5409) Bad night (997)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation

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(414): Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation http://tfl.nu/xs70

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(928): View more from Arizona

Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture

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(928): Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture http://tfl.nu/vg21

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(309): View more from Illinois

This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.

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(309): This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend. http://tfl.nu/skkm

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now

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(203): Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now http://tfl.nu/p7dd

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(609): View more from New Jersey

There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.

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(609): There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now. http://tfl.nu/la5k

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

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(402): I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men. http://tfl.nu/t0j9

Replies (14) Good night (2534) Bad night (496)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian

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(204): Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian http://tfl.nu/540t

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"

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(403): I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!" http://tfl.nu/cbkk

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

How was the picnic?

(516): View more from New York

We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.

(413): View more from Massachusetts

Why didn't you put them down?

(516): View more from New York

No beer left behind.

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(413): How was the picnic? (516): We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer. (413): Why didn't you put them down? (516): No beer left behind. http://tfl.nu/j969

Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (163)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.

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(908): I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country. http://tfl.nu/dr7f

Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (104)

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