I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.