you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
