Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight

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  (212): I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight http://tfl.nu/y0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (1162) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She'll never know what hit her

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.

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  (703): She'll never know what hit her (1-703): I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact. http://tfl.nu/fbuf
  Replies (2) Good night (1814) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude

  (765): View more from Indiana

  call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing

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  (323): this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude (765): call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing http://tfl.nu/wjo2
  Replies (41) Good night (1768) Bad night (3283)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family

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  (973): So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family http://tfl.nu/6om1
  Replies (11) Good night (3961) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.

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  (203): that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/oyv6
  Replies (15) Good night (4426) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.

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  (305): Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend. http://tfl.nu/xxmf
  Replies (6) Good night (3997) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked

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  (908): I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked http://tfl.nu/8tmt
  Replies (11) Good night (4010) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman

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  (908): i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman http://tfl.nu/e120
  Replies (21) Good night (4417) Bad night (2347)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.

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  (206): After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team. http://tfl.nu/bf8i
  Replies (12) Good night (4144) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling

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  (818): The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling http://tfl.nu/93rl
  Replies (8) Good night (3963) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.

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  (215): I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood. http://tfl.nu/t851
  Replies (3) Good night (1887) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know

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  (801): Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know http://tfl.nu/1og0
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.

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  (613): Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again. http://tfl.nu/4a7s
  Replies (7) Good night (449) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"

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  (443): My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch" http://tfl.nu/szrk
  Replies (4) Good night (1571) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.

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  (860): I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love. http://tfl.nu/zgl1
  Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (442)

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