they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
