i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
