I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
