Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize