my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
