WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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