And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
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I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
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They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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