i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize