Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
