Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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