he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
