Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
