Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
