Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
