i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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