you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
