She said her name was "party"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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