That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this will be a night to untag.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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