You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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