he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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