So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
