PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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