sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
