ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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