love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
