I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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