I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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