I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We need to get me chipped asap
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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