he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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