Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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