Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
