I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
