I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
