he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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