I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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