Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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