remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He has the fingertips of a God
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