he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
