i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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