In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
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He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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