just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
