I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize